Democratic Convention Schedule Highlights

6:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony

6:30 PM – Antiwar Concert by Barbara Streisand

7:00 PM – Tribute to France

8:30 PM – Terrorist Appeasement Workshop

9:20 PM – Gay Marriage Ceremony

10:20 PM – Howard Dean Screamfest “Yeeearrrrrrrg!”

10:50 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.

11:30 PM – “Free Saddam” Pep Rally

Read more highlights, plus take a sneak peek at the Republican National Convention schedule.

Convention Jokes

“You know how much time the major networks are going to devote to convention coverage? Three hours. Three hours total. One hour a night for three nights to pick a president. That’s about one-tenth of the time we devote to finding an ‘American Idol.'” —Jay Leno

Read more jokes…