(SATIRE) “(2005-12-21) — Al Qaeda announced today it would relocate its international headquarters to an unnamed U.S. city in order to take advantage of espionage-free local, and state-to-state, phone calls.

“Al Qaeda will thrive in the land of liberty,” said an unnamed spokesman on a 30-minute pre-recorded DVD. “We’re still shopping for a primary location with great access to transportation and, Allah be praised, good public schools.”

The al Qaeda source said Democrats in Congress recommended the move after the The New York Times revealed that the National Security Administration listens in on communications between international terrorists and some U.S. residents.

The source said no matter where al Qaeda plants its U.S. headquarters, it will incorporate in tax-free Nevada.
— Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Hey Scott… we understand T-Mobile has a low rate calling plan for them as well. Blackberry coverage and GSM no problem…with full quad band coverage to boot!