Specter Bill Creates Guest Slacker Program

(ScrappleFace) Just a day after releasing his proposal to create a “guest worker” program for non-citizen immigrants, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-PA, today circulated a first draft of legislation which would launch a “guest slacker” program.

“Just as a guest worker meets the needs of big business by taking a job that no American wants,” Sen. Specter said, “a guest slacker will meet the needs of big government by consuming public assistance funds that have not been disbursed to Americans.”

Under the terms of the measure, the guest slacker and his family may remain in the country for a period of three years, but then must return to the welfare rolls of his own homeland for a year, before being allowed back to the U.S. for another loafing stint of three years.

“We have welfare programs begging for clients,” Sen. Specter said. “You can hear their public service ads on the radio daily. But most hard-working Americans believe that taking handouts from the government is beneath them, undignified or even un-American.”

The senator noted that his guest slacker bill would allow some of the less popular government social programs to keep operating, and even to increase their taxpayer funding as their client list grows forcing them to hire bilingual staff to serve customers in dozens of foreign languages.

“It’s a win for the government employees and a win for the guest slackers,” he said. “That’s what you call a win-win scenario. I predict overwhelming approval in the Senate.”” – Scott Ott

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