— In a grassroots counterprotest against yesterday’s nationwide rallies by illegal aliens, today millions of documented U.S. citizens took to their desks, factories, shops and other job sites to demonstrate their commitment to U.S. law and the American work ethic.

Police estimated that the crowds exceeded 220 million people, but they reported no incidents of violence.

Many workplaces flew the American flag, as usual, to express their ongoing devotion to the values and freedoms for which generations of U.S. troops have fought and died.

One unnamed American, a former Mexican who immigrated legally and became a U.S. citizen last year, said he joined the counter-demonstration because he admires the so-called “can-do attitude” he has found in his new home country.

The former-Mexican, who requested anonymity out of humility, said, “It’s as if Americans go to work every day and demonstrate ‘Si, se puede’ — ‘Yes, we can’.”

However, an organizer of yesterday’s illegal alien rallies said today’s counterprotests just highlight the weakness of the opposition to the new civil rights movement.

“It’s pathetic,” said the unnamed spokesman for Somos America (which, in a foreign language, means ‘We are America’).

“No chanting, no banners, no Latino music, no crowds blocking traffic,” she said, “Just millions of Americans quietly doing their jobs. All they do is work and vote. What kind of impact do they expect that to make?”” — Scott Ott / ScrappleFace