(2006-05-25) — Enron founder Kenneth Lay and former-CEO Jeff Skilling, found guilty today of a combined total of 25 fraud and conspiracy charges in the energy company’s collapse, announced that they would appeal the verdicts, and that they have launched a new joint-venture business.

The new firm, Penrun, will trade a financial instrument called convict futures, which fluctuate depending on the ratio of sentenced-time to time-served.

For example, while Mr. Lay and Mr. Skilling could be sentenced to 20-to-30 years, it’s unlikely that they’ll serve even half of that.

“So, there’s big upside potential for customers who sell short,” said Mr. Lay. “It’s the hottest ticket in America. I can sincerely say to anybody, ‘Sell your gold and buy convict futures’.”

The duo said they already have $75 million in “virtual capital” for the startup, with another $300 million “pretty much guaranteed if we get out before 2010.”

Mr. Skilling encouraged potential Penrun customers “to think outside of the box.”

“This is the best securities buy available today, bar none,” he said. “This is cutting edge stuff.”” — Satirical reporting by Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

[Hat tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace] As far as we are concerned. They should be starting their sentences NOW. The fact is the judge has decided to sentence on Sept 11th 2006. Was that to give them time to make sure their villas in whatever country does not have extradition treaties with us are completed? They have had years to figure out a plan to leave the country. Why are they not behind bars NOW ! Could it be their private fortunes have something to do with it?