(2007-01-06) — President George Bush, in a speech to the nation next week, will announce he’s sending up to 20,000 new U.S. combat troops into Iraq with orders to “go door to door, if necessary, to find a mission that everybody can agree on,” according to unnamed White House sources..

The troop surge would seem to place the president at odds with leaders of the new Democrat Congressional majority who yesterday called for an immediate and rapid withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq.

The president will reportedly tell the American people that “the U.S. military is the greatest fighting force the world has ever seen, and therefore I have confidence in their ability to discover a political solution.”

The anonymous White House source said the president is optimistic about uniting American behind a common vision, since the White House and Congressional leaders already share the belief, in principle, that troop movements are a good substitute for a victory strategy. — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace