Saudi King Calls the Kettle Black

(2007-03-30) — Saudi Arabian King Abdullah, addressing an Arab summit in Riyadh yesterday, called the U.S. occupation of Iraq “illegitimate…a relic of medieval times when unelected monarchs ruled their vassals by decree.”

“How is the U.S. occupation of Iraq any different from feudalism?” King Abdullah asked rhetorically. “The Iraqi people did not elect George Bush. He is not accountable to them. He rules from his white palace, doing as he pleases and they must simply endure and comply.”

The Saudi king added that “it’s hard to believe in our progressive 21st century that the United Nations would allow a member state to oppress people like this. In my prayers, I ask Allah to hasten the day when the Iraqi people rise up and throw off the shackles of this antiquated system of governance, and declare their God-given right of self-determination.” — Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Iranian Tea Party

British Invasion of Iran Thwarted

(Tehran) — Faye Turney, one of 15 British sailors and marines held hostage by Iran, confessed today that her group had not accidentally strayed into Iranian waters, as she had previously admitted, but were actually mounting an invasion of the Islamic Republic.

“On direct orders from Prime Minister Tony Blair,” said Ms. Turney, “my mates and I were about to hit the beaches in southwestern Iran. From there our orders were to drive directly to the heart of Tehran and raise the Union Jack, claiming Iran as a British colony.”

The confession, contained in a note to her Mum, also indicated that the 15 British seapersons were “eager to reclaim the heathen land of Persia for the Christians and Jews.” — Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

This will go down in military annals as one of the worst botched British air-sea-land invasions in the history of the British Empire. It rivals that of the U.S. invasion of Iran in 1979, when 52 Americans embassy workers, acting alone of course, botched their invasion mission which lead to their capture by Islamic Republic Hostage Defense Forces. It was only after heroic the shock and awe of the massive military might called up and deployed by the then Commander-in-Chief, President Jimmy Carter in mission Desert One, did we as a nation come to our senses and gave penance and restitution for the egregious transgressions of these 52 misguided invaders.

Tony Blair must now learn from Jimmy Carter. Be prepared to go in with your guns blazing and choppers falling out of the sky without their engine intake dust protectors. Don’t forget to make sure your choppers are ill equipped for desert warfare and whatever you do, don’t be too too aggressive. Otherwise you too may become humbled by the Iranian military. — ed.

Tags: politics, sarcasm, satire, world news, zz

Man Looses Ears in Bar Fight

Man loses ears trying to break up bar fight:

“ATHENS (Reuters) - A Greek tavern owner who tried to break up a fight between customers watching a Greece-Turkey soccer match had both ears bitten off, police said on Wednesday.

Owner Dimitris Tsibibakis intervened as scuffles erupted after a group of Bulgarians shouted slogans supporting Turkey when they scored their third goal in the European championship qualifier and locals told them to stop.

‘I tried to split them up and ended up on the floor with one of the Bulgarians biting one ear and another one chewing the other ear off,’ Tsibibakis told state television on Wednesday from hospital.

‘I need to have plastic surgery. Doctors told me they cannot just stitch them back on,’ Tsibibakis said. ‘At least I still have the pieces that were bitten off.’

Police said they arrested three of the Bulgarians and were looking for a fourth. Greece lost the match against their archrivals 4-1.” — More…

Mike Tyson would be proud…

Tags: humor, bizarre, culture, zz

A Candid Review of Suicide Girls

The following review of the popular “quasi-porn” site, Suicide Girls, caught our attention this morning. It was interesting enough with a unique point of view that we felt it was worth sharing with you in the interest of FREE SPEECH? Why free speech? Read on…

The other day I took a shot at the Suicide Girls in my blog about tattoos and got a few messages about it, nothing huge. I was kind of hoping for more so it would set me up for this blog but it didn’t happen that way.

First I want to say this was inspired partially by a blog written by Kristen Ferrell, who by the way is an amazing artist you should check out, she has a ton of talent. She talked about the exploitative porn machine is that is the Suicide Girls but I will touch on that only a bit here.

Before I explain how the Suicide Girl trend irritates the ever living shit out of me, I want to take a second to discuss something positive about it because I don’t want them to get lost in my overall opinion.

The Good Thing About the Suicide Girls

The models show us there is more to the concept of beauty than the traditional idea of beauty. Some of the girls on the site are truly beautiful and I think when some of the people see them it makes them reconsider what they think true beauty is. Plus they give me something to flog the bishop to when I am sick of looking at the regular stuff, it’s nice to see a girl tied up with “super freak” tattooed above her ass crack. Also the whole neo-pinup thing isn’t exactly a bad movement. READ MORE FROM kp2575

If you think this material is too over the top after reading the article at his site, we would love to hear your reasons why here after you leave some comments there. Personally it is far from over the top in our estimation. Kevin (kp2575) and Kristen Ferrel, whom he cites, both, in our opinion, make some excellent observations regarding the almost cultishness of the SG movement. SG is now a business and some of the SG wannabes are naive about what they are setting themselves up for later in life. But then again, maybe that’s the Suicide part of being an Suicide Girl?

Al Jazeera: U.S. Navy Show of Force

Four More Years

Presidential Swap

Here is a great example of out of the box diplomatic thinking. We are certain Jimmy Carter would welcome such an opportunity. The side benefit of such a swap should be more than attractive to the former President. He will have an opportunity to get one step closer to finally apologizing to the Iranians for his mis-guided efforts in attempting to rescue the 52 Americans taken hostage back in 1979. Given his enlightenment over the years (in particular due to his long time friendship with his homie YA), he above all, has a deep understanding of the mis-understood Iranian struggle and their historical national pride in their kidnapping and hostage taking skills for defensive and peaceful purposes only.

(Washington) — A source close to Dick Cheney said today that the vice president has suggested freeing 15 British sailors and marines from Iranian captivity by trading former President Jimmy Carter for the hostages.

The deal, which Mr. Cheney reportedly believes “has a certain poetic justice to it”, would require an executive order signed by President George Bush, but the unnamed source said presidential adviser Karl Rove “can take care of that as usual without bothering the president with the details.” [ In the photo above Jimmy can be seen with his old buddy, Yassir Arafat. This is the sort of relationship that makes the ex-president uniquely qualified for the mission at hand. -- ed.]

White House insiders said the trade would not violate the Bush administration’s policy of refusing to negotiate with terrorists, “since only one party in this deal would receive anything of strategic value.” – satire as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace ed.

Tags: iran, politics, satire, sarcasm, zz

Recent Onion Poll: LT. Come Home !!

THE WAR IN IRAQ: Celebrating Four Years of Winning?
Public Wants Troops Home:
According to a recent poll, 52 percent of Americans want to withdraw troops from Iraq within the next 12 months. What does the man and woman on the street think?

James Pelletier, Linguistics Professor “Sure, they say that now, but just wait until the troops have been back for a few weeks.”

Allison Roberts, Systems Analyst “That’s intriguing, because 52 percent of me wants U.S. troops out of Iraq, too. Is the poll also, like me, 38 percent in support of the war and 10 percent unsure?”

Ryan Heffernan, Chief Operations Officer “Ridiculous. I, for one, support our efforts in Iraq, and so do the other gentlemen on the board of Trans-American Cheap Pine Box, Inc.”

Hat tip: The Onion…. stop by their site and take a load off… It’s “hard work” winning…!!

Tags: politics, parody, sarcasm, satire, zz

Iran Captures Sailors for Peaceful Purposes

Tags: sarcasm, politics, parody, iran, zz