Iran: America Invited to Join the Unfree World
Fresh words of satirical insight from the pen of Scott Ott as he covers the speech of Ayatollah Ali Khamenei in Tehran.
(SATIRE) — In a speech that condemned the upcoming U.S.-sponsored Middle East peace conference, Iran’s Supreme Leader today called on the United Nations to impose sanctions on the United States aimed at “bringing the U.S. into the global community of unfree nations.”
“The people of the United States have lived under iron-fist of liberty for too long,” said Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, whose word is law in Iran. “We believe that deep in the human soul dwells a universal desire to submit to a more powerful person whom one can revere with quiet obedience. Americans have had to squelch this yearning for more than two centuries.”
Mr. Khamenei told a cheering Iranian crowd, “No people can long endure the shackles of a democratic regime, without finally breaking those chains and taking their place among uncivilized nations that have wisely advanced only so far as they ought.”
“With proper encouragement from the United Nations,” he added, “the American people will soon throw off the yoke of freedom, and breathe the fresh air of subservience along with their millions of brethren in the Muslim world.” — as covered by satirical reporter Scott Ott
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on Friday - Jul 3rd, 2009 at 1:02 pm Joe Salls wrote:
Ironically, US citizens are many times more likely to be in prison than Iranian citizens, often because they were the victims of baseless accusations and unethical prosecutors. So which citizenry truly lives under tyranny? Even Saddam Hussein imprisoned fewer of us citizens per capita — far fewer, in fact. The US locks up more black people per capita than South Africa under apartheid by a factor of four!