CIA Threatens Detainees with Senate Hearings



Scott Ott once again shows his sharper side pointing to the insanity that has become the U.S. Senate. With the administration under fire once again for attempting to stay one step ahead of the terrorists, the would be “muckrakers” in the Senate are now questioning virtually all the tools used to extract information from captured terrorists. One does need to wonder which side of the struggle the political left in Congress is on when it comes to protecting the American people. – ZZ

(LANGLEY - Va) — According a newly-leaked top-secret document published in The New York Times ‘Classified’ section today, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) has employed controversial methods to extract information from terror suspects, including threats to put the detainee in front of a Senate committee for further interrogation.If true, it means that U.S. agents may be using a technique “tantamount to torture,” an unnamed source told the Times.

“I’ve seen those Senate hearings on TV,” the source said. “I’d rather be waterboarded, slapped about the head and assaulted with high-volume Britney Spears music while confined to a meat locker.”

President Bush refused to confirm or deny the new allegations, saying only: “We use humane methods that have proven fruitful for gathering intelligence. So, that don’t make any sense.”

Mr. Bush added that if, in the future, the U.S. did decide to subject terror suspects to Senate hearings, “at least no one would accuse us of using sleep deprivation.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace




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