Hillary: Honored to Ridicule Obama Empty Rhetoric

(OHIO) — Sen. Hillary Clinton, continuing to “take the high road” as she did at the end of the end of the last presidential debate, said again today that she is “honored” to be running against Sen. Barack Obama.“I’m honored to ridicule him for his empty rhetoric,” said Sen. Clinton. “I’m honored to point out that his universal health care plan is doomed to fail because it won’t mandate universal participation like mine will. It’s a distinct honor to tell Americans that he doesn’t have a clue when it comes to foreign policy, and to deride his naive notion that he can negotiate with the president of Iran.”The Senator from New York added that it’s a great privilege to allow her subordinates to sling mud at a man like Sen. Obama while she maintains plausible deniability.

“There are so many moments during the campaign when I have felt honored,” she said. “Each time the media and the bloggers write about that photo of Barack in traditional African garb, or they mention that his middle name is ‘Hussein’, or repeat the false rumors that he’s Muslim, or they dote on the worries that he might be assassinated because he’s black. I’m humbled to be participating in this great Democratic tradition at this historic moment.”

Sen. Clinton said the greatest honor still lies before her.

“When I finally receive that phone call from Sen. Obama, and all that soaring rhetoric falls away, as he mumbles his congratulations,” she said, “what an honor it will be to realize that my life’s work as a champion of civil rights will be crowned, figuratively speaking, with the carcass of the greatest black presidential candidate America has ever seen.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

Burger Meat - It’s What’s for Dinner

This animation will make you think twice about eating ground beef….

— [Hat Tip: mark fiore]

An Obamination

Where’s My Rebate Check ?

McCains Favorite Radio Personality

Moderates to Conservatives: Don’t Cut Off Your Nose : Use a Clothes-pin

Right about now it’s time for far right conservatives in the Republican party to begin thinking about the consequences of a Barack Hussein Obama or a Trans-gender Clinton presidency. Think about the ramifications. Think about any upcoming Supreme Court nominations. Think about Iran with nukes. Think about massive civil war in Iraq and the full destabilization of the southern providences by Iran after we withdraw. Think about 2nd Amendment rights and the right to life for the unborn. Think about the institution of marriage. Think about Israel under attack by emboldened islamic radicals and its ramifications. Think about increasing taxes here at home. Then think about either one or both of the Democratic candidates in the White House!!

CPAC, it’s time to level with John McCain and tell him what you want if he expects your vote. Whining and pouting will accomplish nothing and risk everything. It’s a golden opportunity to shape his platform — HE NEEDS YOU!! Recognize that the majority of this country are moderate conservatives. They expect some flexibility in their leaders to adapt for the good of the nation. That means sometimes bending a bit. That, in fact, is often what John McCain has tried to do. He did it by promoting the surge and PUSHING BACK on Rumsfeld and the President. He was in favor of more troops on the ground since day 1 of the war. Lo and behold, the surge is working. It takes a maverick sometimes to redirect the stubborn. Finding some middle ground to keep the nation together is what the MAJORITY of Americans want.

I am NOT a big fan of some of the alliances he has made. Frankly I am sure he has come to regret some of them. Yes — he is NOT a staunch conservative, but he does have the potential to win in November with the right running mate. That’s where the party should begin to spend it’s mental energy. Winning in November. Jules Crittenden at PJM sums it up nicely…

Some conservatives are talking about sitting it out. The idea is that it is not such a bad thing to lose one. It might be better for the party. Give the other side enough rope, let the Republican Party regroup and find its feet and a few new candidates.

It’s loser talk — bitter loser talk — worthy of the Democratic leadership of Congress. You’ll recall they claimed a mandate they didn’t quite have, fought the same futile battle again and again, but failed to bring anything viable to the table. Rather than look ahead to the interests of the nation, they looked to their own narrow political interest, failed to satisfy that either, and stumbled and fell, earning the disgust even of the people who voted them in.

What is undeniable is that the single greatest threat the United States faces is that in four years, Iraq is abandoned, chaos and genocide take hold there, and the great expenditure of precious American blood and treasure there is rendered a waste. In four years, Iran can have a nuclear weapon. Both of these events will have wide ramifications. The nations of the Middle East and Far East can see a United States weakened and unreliable, and they will look elsewhere and to other means to defend their interests. Meanwhile, Iran, China, North Korea, Sudan, the Taliban, al-Qaeda, Hezbollah, Hamas, the Myanmar regime, Putin — I’m sorry, it’s a long list; I might have missed some — can be relied on to take advantage of our absence from the field to advance their own positions.

Because America will be perceived again to be a nation without a spine, a nation that chooses to lose, a nation that will not fight for its ideals. Is it the sixth or seventh time in the last four decades? Vietnam. Iran. Lebanon. Somalia. Al-Qaeda and Saddam in the 1990s. Our enemies know that list very well. It is their mantra, the weakness they see in us that strengthens them and keeps them going. — Jules Crittenden

It’s time to begin thinking more about the consequences of not voting and less about the bitter taste in our mouths that we are experiencing today. It may be the one noble sacrifice Republican conservatives will be asked to make, to come to the aid of their party in order to ensure victory in November. The stakes are too high to do otherwise.

Tech Support for Installing Husband v1.0

One of our readers sent this in to us. Some versions (no pun intended) have been around the web in various forms. We thought this one was worth sharing this evening… Call it a Valentine’s Day prelude

INSTALLING HUSBAND v1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1 and NASCAR 500.0)

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate
************************************************

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: “I Thought You Loved Me.exe” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 .

But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
– Tech Support

— [Hat Tip: megitt33] Thanks Meg !!

Top 3 Ted Kennedy Endorsement Cartoons

Here are this week’s top three political cartoon picks. The theme for the week is Ted Kennedy’s political endorsement of Barack Obama. Ouch !!

Here are two more that we found that just couldn’t resist :

The Transgender Presidency

[Wondering where we have been the past few days? Business in San Jose California forced us to take a short sabbatical from posting but here are a few thoughts for an update.]

I wish we could say that we were out on the west coast covering the Billhillary Transgender Presidency and bid for the White House, but frankly we just did not have enough time to available to make it up to San Francisco.

We did however get to enjoy the Democratic “Love Fest” debate on CNN this week. Man, that Wulf Blitzer really knows how to throw those scorching hard ball questions at liberals doesn’t he? It was all I could do to keep from vomiting my buffalo wing and Corona room service all over the hotel room floor.

Then there was the Rudi surrender to contemplate! — If there was ever justification to crucify and skin his campaign strategist alive Lecter Hannibal style, Rudi’s mis managed campaign strategist would have to be the first in line to be placed on the meat hook. It had to be the most bone headed campaign ever run in history. Guess that VP slot looks pretty attractive to him right now.

So here we are left with John McCain and Mitt Romney and the spoiler Mike Huckabee bringing up the rear. I guess you could call Huckabee a “rear end”. One would think that Huckabee would have had the courage to do the right thing and drop out of the race to avoid splitting the conservative vote who he says he loves so dearly. But no…. his ego is apparently way to big for that. So while he wallows in his delusion of creating an upset on Super Tuesday, he has all but assured, short of a miracle, that John “The Prodigal Son” McCain will win the Republican nomination.

Now some beltway insiders say that John McCain’s quick temper is sure to be exposed at some point during on a national debate with either Hillary or Barack. Democratic strategists are licking their chops. Bob Grant, conservative NY radio talk show host, predicts McCain’s snap temper will freak out moderates. We shall see.

However… if Hillary wins for the Democrats, the thought of having what we call a Transgender Presidency of the Billhillary team in the White House might just give John McCain that little extra edge with moderates and Latinos that he needs to survive his critics on the right who will be blasting him if he should beat Romney. So let’s go Hillary don’t fret!!! Take off those padded gloves and unleash your fury of a woman scorned along with that pit bull of a husband of yours on Obama. Frankly the nation needs more comic relief right about now. You know, what with the writer’s strike and all… !

The Rudy Giuliani Campaign Abortion

(NYC) — Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani aborted his presidential campaign today after a preliminary test in Florida showed significant defects.

The former Republican front runner said his decision was “personal”, and asked reporters to respect his “Constitutional right to privacy.”

“It was completely my choice to end it early in the primary cycle, the first trimester of 2008,” said Mr. Giuliani, “because at this point it’s just a cluster of cells with potential, and not yet recognizably organized.”

The former candidate said he’ll leave it to others to dissect his aborted effort and “to try to harvest something of value…you know, post-mortem…at least for research purposes.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace