“Just when you think you’re out… they pull you back in.”

Whether you tuned in to television, radio, or the internet in the last few days it was impossible to avoid the sight and sound of Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright.

Much has been said about Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright, but what has not been fully voiced is the gratitude felt by many Americans freshly exposed to his oratory.

So, in my role as a voice for the voiceless, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright for his selfless service to the country.

Seldom in my memory has one man with one single, unwavering, and forceful train of thought done for America what Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright has done.

Almost alone in the 21st century Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright has brought back to life and given voice and face to something most of use believed was lost with the 20th century — the stone cold stereotype of the angry, bitter, racist and crazy African-American.

So thank you, Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright. Without your ceaseless efforts in the service of your hate, Americans of all colors and creeds might have gone to the polls this fall thinking that the change we all hoped for was at hand. It’s comforting to know we can, if we wish, cast our vote to keep your angry, bitter, racist and crazy African-American stereotype alive in this century.

Do not go gently into that good retirement Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright. The nation needs men of God such as yourself to keep the wounds of racism open, infected, and suppurating.

Given your new found celebrity via your disciple, Barack Obama, you’d be well advised to cash in rather than tending your garden. Please follow this plan that has worked flawlessly for dozens of America haters:

1. Call your agent. A book of your collected sermons, previously worthless, can now fetch an advance from any number of publishers of several million dollars.
2. Call top speaking bureaus. Your fee for speaking out just went from whatever donations Obama and the rest of your flock tossed in the plate to a minimum of $50,000 for an invocation at any number of conventions.
3. Be sure to set up a meeting with the heads of cable television for a prime Sunday slot or perhaps as a co-anchor with Keith Olberman.
4. Pull up some old and especially hateful sermon and email it off to the New York Times for a place on their Op-Ed page, along with a proposal that you replace that Jewish guy, Randy Cohen, their current Ethicist.

Remember that you are not selling out to the man, you are buying in.

Rant on, rant on Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright! — [Hat Tip: American Digest]