I know we’re all frustrated (or taking some petty amusement) from the Democrat primary process, and truly it was funny. It was hilarious, right up until it averted the Martian Invasion April 4, 2008, at 2:17am EST.

April 4, 2008. 2:17am EST: A Martian invasion was averted when a surprise attack ran into an unexpected snag: The Democrat Party Primary Process. In an attempt to analyze our method of choosing our leadership to win our hearts and minds after being subjugated, every computer in the Martian attack fleet crashed. This caused their panicked commanders to blast back into hyperspace towards Mars before the complexities and contradictions of the Democrat’s primary process caused the end of space-time.

We wouldn’t have known about it at all, except that their Supreme Commanders, Khxggisyf, left this message: “We came to conquer you, but after a thorough analysis of how you choose your leaders, it would be a complete waste of time. Seriously, what genius thought invading you was a good idea? You have to be the dumbest, most confused interstellar race I’ve ever met. Someone’s getting executed when I go home!

My personal thanks to the Democrats and their primary process. Truly, planetary defense would not be the same without you.

Want a warped perspective on maverick Republican, John McCain? Visit http://www.yankmccain.com. If nothing else, you’ll never see the word ‘maverick’ the same way again!