(New York) — Republican presidential nominee John McCain today for the first time said he can now support a timeline to reduce the American presence in Iraq, specifically advocating the withdrawal from Iraq of Democrat presidential nominee Barack Obama, and several battalions of U.S. news anchors and reporters.

“It’s time to bring them home,” said Sen. McCain at a news conference attended by a journalism intern from the Des Moines Register. “The surge has worked, and it’s time to redeploy.”

Sen. McCain said bringing Sen. Obama home would help to ensure that “people in the U.S., who desperately need media attention, will get the help they deserve.”

“Our mainstream media forces are stretched too thin,” he said. “If news should break here in the homeland, who’s going to cover it? We’re vulnerable.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace