Obama: I will Talk Iran Into Halting Nuclear Program

(Illinois) — Democrat presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama today faulted the “weakness of the Bush administration” for Iran’s recent long-range missile testing, and said when he sits in the Oval Office “Iran will know that we mean talk.”

The Illinois senator said he would engage Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in face-to-face negotiations offering “carrots as well as sticks,” meaning that he would “reward Iranian goodwill gestures with stirring laudatory speeches, and punish Iran’s violations of U.N. resolutions with bold rhetorical rebukes.”

“We know that President Ahmadinejad wants to see Israel wiped off the face of the map,” said Sen. Obama, “Of course, the first step in negotiating is to determine what the other party wants that you might be able to provide”

“Iran needs to know that our words mean something,” he said. “During the Obama administration, our words will mean that we are saying things by combining those words into sentences to express ideas about how we feel, using dramatic phrases and dynamic cadences. Iran must never question our resolve to deliver…speeches.”

While the Bush administration has tried to get allies to unite in applying pressure on Iran to halt its nuclear program, Sen. Obama said he would bring change to American foreign policy by trying to get U.S. allies to unite in applying pressure on Iran to halt its nuclear program.

“It’s a lot different than the Bush approach,” he said, “because in my strategy, there is no Bush.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / Scrappleface

To all the Democrats out there: Barack sure sounds more and more like Bush every day. A Bush 3rd term without the Bush (and without the balls if Jesse Jackson has his way).

McCain at least has been true to his centrist leanings before, during and we are sure after the nomination. Barack on the other hand has bamboozled all of you — Jessie Jackson, “the castrationist,” knows it all too well — that’s why he wants to cut off his balls!

Also perhaps a bit of jealousy lingers since Obama has stolen the good preacher’s black political spotlight of many years. And as for Reverend Al? Well we suspect he is simply lying low until after the election just to make sure he doesn’t “step in it” too.  However… if Barack keeps up his back peddling, the good reverend just might give brother Jessie a call, as well as his two good friends Hillary and Bill, and put on a real show for all of us in Denver !

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