Bull vs. Bear Humor

Posted by ZZ Bachman...

For your amusement here are some observations sent into us by a wall street trader that will go nameless. Hope you are in a positive frame of mind to enjoy these after this roller coaster week. If you haven’t checked your 401k lately you might want to just hold off for about 1-2 years or be sure you have a cardiac defibrillator nearby.

TARP –  $700 billion bailout–Taxpayers Are Really Pissed.

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use..

Posted by ZZ Bachman...

[+1 rating, 1 votes]  Loading ...

You can follow any discussion by checking the eMail notification box below the grey comment area or by linking our RSS 2.0 comment feed. Trackbacks and Pingbacks may be turned off because of spamming morons. -- Thanks -- ZZ N&S Staff

Link: http://zardozz.com/zz/2008/10/bull-vs-bear-humor.html