Bull vs. Bear Humor
For your amusement here are some observations sent into us by a wall street trader that will go nameless. Hope you are in a positive frame of mind to enjoy these after this roller coaster week. If you haven’t checked your 401k lately you might want to just hold off for about 1-2 years or be sure you have a cardiac defibrillator nearby.
TARP – $700 billion bailout–Taxpayers Are Really Pissed.
CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER — What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION – The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use..

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on Saturday - Oct 11th, 2008 at 11:20 am Jody wrote:
Too funny. Here’s a bailout video that made me laugh: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZUXXSxZPhw
on Friday - Dec 12th, 2008 at 7:19 pm List of 19 New Words for 2007 , 2008 and 2009 …? | ZardozZ News and Satire wrote:
[...] Here are some extra funny ones from Wall Street to get you started …. http://zardozz.com/zz/2008/10/bull-vs-bear-humor.html [...]