Iowahawk: Waxman’s Body Invaded by Kremulakian High Admiral
Iowahawk scoops the main stream media by uncovering that at least one member of the U.S. Senate has been possessed by and intergalactic alien. An excerpt of the commentary by Waxulon-6, Lord High Admiral of the Kremulakian Earth Invading force has now been made public.
Henry Waxman (D-CA) allegedly possessed by Kremulakian Overloard (hattip: Wizbang)Mark your time! Behold the current heat readings of your atmosphere, which have now reached less than negative 40 in your Earth-degrees. Phase I of the Kremulakian conquest of your filthy pitiful orb is complete!
Foolish Hu-Mans, did you not suspect? It is now far too late for resistance. The planetary reign of the invincible Ice Beings of Kremulak can not be stopped, and thus I can now reveal all. And taunt your Earth-foolishness with delicious impunity! Ha ha ha!
When our scientist first discovered your planet 6.3 Kremulakian moon-orbits ago, I argued before the High Admiralty that it would be a suitable world for conquest and colonization. The Inner Council accused me of madness! They said we Kremulaks could never survive in your stupid planet’s hostile hot temperatures. They said our nostrils would mutate and explode under your intense atmospheric pressures. They said that Hu-mans would never vote us into their control councils.
Fools! I wagered Supreme Overlord Gromfnorg-0 himself that not only would I survive, but that I would win quick election to your Earth Commerce and Energy committee — without even using my visual cloaking device! Little did he know that I, Lord Waxulon-6, had been carefully monitoring your Earth-frequencies and Earth-internet and Earth-basic cable news, and had discovered the outpost which you Hu-Mans call “San Francisco.” Needless to say, my little bet has paid off handsomely — winning me over 6000 Kremulakian trading crystals.
Victory over you puny race was even easier than I anticipated. In fact, the only resistance I encountered was on the invasion-saucer voyage, when Pelosicon-8 and Obamulak-3 kept trying to recalibrate the music-frequencies. And the impudent weak-glanded Algor-11, who needed to make biowaste stops at every refueling station between here and the Antares subcluster….Read More / Iowahawk
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on Sunday - Jan 18th, 2009 at 5:41 pm Rosemary wrote:
Because I do not believe in flying saucers, this is hilarious. But what if…?
on Sunday - Jan 18th, 2009 at 5:47 pm ZZ Bachman wrote:
Certainly a genetic resemblance. Even got that double chin thing going if you take a close look …
on Sunday - Jan 18th, 2009 at 5:49 pm Rosemary wrote:
This is true. But did they have to give their planet an Armenian name? I mean, come on! Have we not suffered enough?