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Nancy Pelosi

(WASHINGTON) — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi told ABC News’ George Stephanapolous Sunday that the Democrat’s economic stimulus bill, containing hundreds of millions of dollars for “family planning” services for the poor, will make real cuts in the number of low-income people, thereby saving taxpayer dollars, and increasing average income for everyone.

“Poor people are a luxury we just can’t afford,’ said Rep. Pelosi, “They cost us a lot of money to maintain; what with food stamps, housing and health care. So if we can rapidly reduce the number of poor people through contraception and abortion, that’s a net gain for federal and state budgets, and a fast track to economic recovery. Every poor baby prevented is like money in the bank.”

A spokesman for Planned Parenthood, the world’s leading abortion sales chain, confirmed Mrs. Pelosi’s
assertion, noting that “even if the stimulus bill helps harvest only the low-hanging fruit by reducing live births among blacks and hispanics, that would be a major boost, since minorities comprise nearly 50 percent of those on Medicaid.”

Planned Parenthood continues to lobby Congressional Democrats and the Obama administration to include even more funding in the stimulus bill for better marketing efforts to attract minority women who have not yet considered abortion as “a viable lifestyle choice.”

“Despite our best efforts to date,” the source said, “only 1-in-5 pregnancies ends in abortion. We need the marketing money to spur growth in what we call our frequent-flier segment. Blacks make up only about 13 percent of the population, yet they have 40 percent of the abortions. We still think there’s real upside potential there.”

The spokesman added that, “Planned Parenthood, since its inception, has been the Sam’s Club of abortions for minority communities. We keep the product cheap so our customers can buy in large quantities. What we lose in profit per procedure we more than make up for in volume. Of course, our work also helps reduce racial tensions by adhering to time-tested Darwinian principles.” — [Hat Tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace]

Satirical columnist, Scott Ott, once again makes his perspectives very clear on the not so hidden agenda of Ms. Pelosi to hijack the current recession and banking crisis to further the left wing agenda on Capitol Hill.

  • Pingback: Pelosi: Poor People Are a Luxury We Can’t Afford | College Republicans at Texas

  • Carmen

    You should be ashamed for what you have said about poor people being a luxury, who do you think you are? When families find themselves living from cheque to cheque, without jobs and having to pay bills and medicines and the majority of these problems are because of people like you making bad decesions. You are where you are today cause the people and that includes the poor ones as well, have voted for you, and it is your duty to see that EVERYONE has a decent means of living with no exceptions. What goes up, comes down so you better move your ass and start doing what you are paid for by the people who voted for you.

  • ToCarmen

    I agree that what Ms. Pelosi said is pretty terrible it is NOT the governments job to make sure everyone has a means of living

    It is there job to create and enforce laws

    In a true capitalist environment people would have to fend for themselves

    I think the government fucks too much with the system yes the rich have way too much money but if you try to funnel too much out of them to the poor they will leave America. If all the smart and rich people leave then we are left with a bunch of idiots who expect to be housed fed and clothed when no one is left to do the work

    If America became communistic today all the money would leave and everyone left would be in starving conditions

  • Davod

    HEY GUYS, READ THAT LITTLE BIT DOWN UNDERNEATH THE ARTICLE AGAIN.

    “Satirical columnist, Scott Ott, once again makes his perspectives very clear on the not so hidden agenda of Ms. Pelosi to hijack the current recession and banking crisis to further the left wing agenda on Capitol Hill.”

    IT’S A WORK OF SATIRE. SHE DIDN’T ACTUALLY SAY THIS. SORRY FOR THE ALL-CAPS, but nobody would really read this if it didn’t call attention to itself.

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