Obama chill’n after hoops

(WASHINGTON) — With the debate over AIG executive bonuses nearly bringing official Washington to a standstill in the past three weeks, the Obama administration today expanded its plan to control Wall Street executive pay, adding provisions to limit compensation for star performers in the National Football League (NFL), National Basketball Association (NBA) and Major League Baseball (MLB).

“Some of these sports stars, like AIG execs, have negotiated sweetheart deals paying them millions of dollars, and yet they lose games,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. “The president shares the outrage of the American people at these obscene salaries and bonuses. There’s nothing that makes the little people feel littler than the thought of these fat cats getting fatter just because that have specialized skills that are in high demand in a free-market economy.”

Indeed, the White House released a recent poll showing that 75 percent of Americans answered ‘Yes’ to the following question: “Do you believe President Obama should personally limit the compensation of anyone who earns a lot more than you do?”

“How hard can it be to show up on Sunday and toss a few passes?” said Mr. Gibbs. “The fact that some people earn a lot more money than others just demonstrates the savage inequalities inherent in a capitalist system, and explains why the president has taken deliberate action to end it.”

Under the terms of the pay-limit plan, the president would appoint a panel of university economists, union leaders, and “ordinary American community organizers” to establish paycheck parity between average hourly-wage workers and the people “who have carved out for themselves an unequal portion of the pie.”

“In America you can dream as big as you want, but everyone agrees we need strict controls on those whose dreams have come true,” Mr. Gibbs said. “The people deserve a system in which there are no limits to your potential, only to your achievements.”

The proposal would exempt most Hollywood stars and popular recording artists, he said, “since much of their money is already returned to the people in the form of contributions to the Democrat party and its candidates.” — [Hat Tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace]