Political Cartoon: The Food Police

The food police…  Coming to a theater near you…

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The Girls We Love In The Bar

All of us guys love women, but their are just a few types that we find extra special when we are out drinking. These are the ones we love:

The Drunk Chick

But You Have to Watch Out For: The Responsible One

This chick is heard from anywhere in the bar. “Yee-Haw!” Shot Time”… Now what comes next is key to what level drunk chick you are dealing with. If it’s, ‘Give me 3 Shots of Wild Turkey! Yeehaw!’ She is a veteren, and you better be ready for anything. She’ll be crazy but if you don’t watch out you’ll wake up in the drunk tank next to Deisel hurting because you a tattoo of I Heart Rhonda on your chest. Now If your wrecked girl screams ‘A Round of Lemon Drops!’ Your not in the clear, but its a little less stressful. Your chicks a lot of fun but thats why “The Responsible One” will be on guard. Having a highly talented wingman available will come in handy here.

The Cougar

But You Gotta Watch Out For: The Old Overweight Flirt

She will be smoking.  Literally and physically. This cougar is not bashful and she couldn’t care less who knows it.  Tonight the beauty is roaming the prairie. No need for the pickup lines, your offensive shirts are not going to turn her off, she likes the shocker on your shirt. A friend who will get with anyone will be a key benefit going into this because eventually “The Old Overweight Flirt” will accompany the cougar.

The Dime

But You Have to Watch Out For: The Bitch

The only catch with this is… She is usually “The Bitch”.  But you can’t blame her, if you figure it out and figure she has been hit on no less than 20 times per day since she was 13, and were lookin at 10′s of thousands of “Hey Girl, if you were a laser, you’d be set on “stunning”.” But when your game is perfect and your shirt is perfect, you might just just be lucky enough to her those 4 little words. “I have a husband”

The Butterface

But You Gotta Watch Out For: Your Boys

You walk in to the bar and do a quick check of the available chicks. Her, not her, maybe her, hell no, her in a heart beat, and then… not with my your penis.  But as the booze and shots go down, that tally starts to get fuzzy… your brain and wang some how become your worst enemy and then slowly that land beast in a t-shirt turns into the ‘possibly’ that you crossed off earlier. She is ready and willing. She giggles at your crappy jokes, she likes your funny tshirts.  Your boys have takin off because they are hurting from laughing at you.  But she needs lovin and your gonna chew your arm off in the morning.

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Political Cartoon of the Week…

Global snow job…

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3 Top Obama Bow Political Cartoons

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Top Satire of the Week: Beerplomacy

Mark Fiore has really outdone himself this time with what has to be the best cartoon satire of the week.  Click on the image and see the full animation on Mark’s site… It’s worth the laugh…

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Best Call Center Comeback Phone Response Ever

This has to be among the best call center comeback phone calls ever…

Too funny for words… We thought it was worth sharing with you considering all the insanity that surrounds us lately.

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WSJ: On Sarah Palin’s Decision to Punt

The Sarah Palin story has it all over Michael Jackson celebrity prime time funeral fest in this author’s humble opinion. But that’s for another post when I can get my head around the almost obsessive media frenzy with the death of the music world’s number one weirdo pedophile. But I digress…

Sarah Palin is undergoing a funeral of sorts in her own right. She has now officially become the latest tragic figure in the Republican Party’s fallout from a failed McCain campaign. The GOP intelligencia seem to also be singing a funeral dirge over her future political career.  But read further for an alternate and interesting point of view.

Here is a reprint of an excellent analysis of the Sarah Palin story from John Fund of the Wall Street Journal. John makes some excellent points regarding the “Media” and soon to be former Gov. Palin and perhaps her taking a new road that may certainly be one less traveled in national politics. Who knos she might even have the last laugh over the funny man from Minnesota, Al Franken.

People close to Sarah Palin say national political reporters and pundits have missed the real reasons for her surprising decision to resign as Alaska governor. The national media have dismissed or downplayed her real motives, which had little to do with any plans to run for president in 2012.Contrary to most reports, her decision had been in the works for months, accelerating recently as it became clear that controversies and endless ethics investigations were threatening to overshadow her legislative agenda. “Attacks inside Alaska and largely invisible to the national media had paralyzed her administration,” someone close to the governor told me. “She was fully aware she would be branded a ‘quitter.’ She did not want to disappoint her constituents, but she was no longer able to do the job she had been elected to do. Essentially, the taxpayers were paying for Sarah to go to work every day and defend herself.”

This situation developed because Alaska’s transparency laws allow anyone to file Freedom of Information Act requests. While normally useful, in the hands of political opponents FOIA requests can become a means to bog down a target in a bureaucratic quagmire, thanks to the need to comb through records and respond by a strict timetable. Similarly, ethics investigations are easily triggered and can drag on for months even if the initial complaint is flimsy. Since Ms. Palin returned to Alaska after the 2008 campaign, some 150 FOIA requests have been filed and her office has been targeted for investigation by everyone from the FBI to the Alaska legislature. Most have centered on Ms. Palin’s use of government resources, and to date have turned up little save for a few state trips that she agreed to reimburse the state for because her children had accompanied her. In the process, though, she accumulated $500,000 in legal fees in just the last nine months, and knew the bill would grow ever larger in the future.

“The Alaska ethics elves had painted such a target on Sarah’s forehead that she had begun turning down pretty much every invitation she got — even though they were pouring in every day by the dozens,” a confidant of the governor’s told me. “It is not throwing in the towel. It is deciding that she was ineffective in fighting for her principles and could do more in another role.” Read the rest of this entry »

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Obama: US One of the Largest Muslim Nations

Scott Ott explains why Obama’s estimates of minority religious populations in America are actually majority populations.

(2009-06-03) — After announcing that the United States is “one of the largest Muslim countries in the world“, with an Islamic population soon to overtake number 50 (Mauritania), President Barack Obama today boasted that the U.S. is also the second largest Jewish nation on earth, “and moving up fast”.

“Only Israel has more Jews than us,” said President Obama. “and we’re catching up. Like our productive American Muslims, our Jews are working hard to make us number one in the world.”

The president said his administration would soon unveil a “religious stimulus proposal” designed to make the U.S. the largest Hindu nation on earth, as well as to overcome “the shocking Buddhist deficit and the shameful dearth of Taoists.”

The president’s plan will promote increased immigration of under-represented religious devotees from nations that have a surplus.

Funding for marketing and transportation will come from a modest tax on the weekly offerings of Christian churches, “since followers of Jesus are relatively plentiful and wealthy.”

— [Hat Tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace]

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