Global snow job…

Mark Fiore has really outdone himself this time with what has to be the best cartoon satire of the week.  Click on the image and see the full animation on Mark’s site… It’s worth the laugh…

This has to be among the best call center comeback phone calls ever…

Too funny for words… We thought it was worth sharing with you considering all the insanity that surrounds us lately.

The Sarah Palin story has it all over Michael Jackson celebrity prime time funeral fest in this author’s humble opinion. But that’s for another post when I can get my head around the almost obsessive media frenzy with the death of the music world’s number one weirdo pedophile. But I digress…

Sarah Palin is undergoing a funeral of sorts in her own right. She has now officially become the latest tragic figure in the Republican Party’s fallout from a failed McCain campaign. The GOP intelligencia seem to also be singing a funeral dirge over her future political career.  But read further for an alternate and interesting point of view.

Here is a reprint of an excellent analysis of the Sarah Palin story from John Fund of the Wall Street Journal. John makes some excellent points regarding the “Media” and soon to be former Gov. Palin and perhaps her taking a new road that may certainly be one less traveled in national politics. Who knos she might even have the last laugh over the funny man from Minnesota, Al Franken.

People close to Sarah Palin say national political reporters and pundits have missed the real reasons for her surprising decision to resign as Alaska governor. The national media have dismissed or downplayed her real motives, which had little to do with any plans to run for president in 2012.Contrary to most reports, her decision had been in the works for months, accelerating recently as it became clear that controversies and endless ethics investigations were threatening to overshadow her legislative agenda. “Attacks inside Alaska and largely invisible to the national media had paralyzed her administration,” someone close to the governor told me. “She was fully aware she would be branded a ‘quitter.’ She did not want to disappoint her constituents, but she was no longer able to do the job she had been elected to do. Essentially, the taxpayers were paying for Sarah to go to work every day and defend herself.”

This situation developed because Alaska’s transparency laws allow anyone to file Freedom of Information Act requests. While normally useful, in the hands of political opponents FOIA requests can become a means to bog down a target in a bureaucratic quagmire, thanks to the need to comb through records and respond by a strict timetable. Similarly, ethics investigations are easily triggered and can drag on for months even if the initial complaint is flimsy. Since Ms. Palin returned to Alaska after the 2008 campaign, some 150 FOIA requests have been filed and her office has been targeted for investigation by everyone from the FBI to the Alaska legislature. Most have centered on Ms. Palin’s use of government resources, and to date have turned up little save for a few state trips that she agreed to reimburse the state for because her children had accompanied her. In the process, though, she accumulated $500,000 in legal fees in just the last nine months, and knew the bill would grow ever larger in the future.

“The Alaska ethics elves had painted such a target on Sarah’s forehead that she had begun turning down pretty much every invitation she got — even though they were pouring in every day by the dozens,” a confidant of the governor’s told me. “It is not throwing in the towel. It is deciding that she was ineffective in fighting for her principles and could do more in another role.”

Family considerations also played a role. Ms. Palin gave birth to a baby with Down’s Syndrome in 2008, and also has a six-year old. Everyone in the family was weary of endless personal attacks, including mean-spirited suggestions on liberal blogs that all of her children should have been aborted and that she would run on a presidential platform promoting retardation.

Governor Palin tried hunkering down. She ignored offers of help from outside and kept media outlets at a distance. “Palin had become so suspicious of the media that she rejected hundreds of requests by even friendly reporters to interview her. Her press aides say that before considering interviews, she insists that they comb through reporters’ work, even if they write for a friendly, conservative publication,” writes Ron Kessler of NewsMax.com. I can also attest to the difficulty of reaching Governor Palin’s staff and getting simple requests answered — the problem is that such standoffishness can sometimes result in more negative coverage rather than less.

Karl Rove acknowledges the unusual battering Ms. Palin has endured in recent months, but told Fox News that GOP leaders are still puzzled by her decision. “If she wanted to escape the ethics investigations and save the taxpayers money, she’s now done that,” he said. Unfortunately, he added, her decision “sent a signal that if you do this kind of thing to a sitting governor like her, you can drive her out of office.”

But Palin friends say such commentary misses the real point. “The Beltway media can’t understand someone not consumed with presidential ambition,” one told me. “Maybe Sarah Palin won’t run for president and maybe her family situation made it tougher to handle the barrage of attacks that come with that territory. The real issue that should be asked is why a mean-spirited system has to treat people who run like that, instead of why someone may choose not to go through it.”

All good points, and they lead me to conclude that Ms. Palin mostly likely will not run for president — in 2012, at least. She made many mistakes after suddenly being thrust into the national spotlight last year, but hasn’t merited the sneering contempt visited upon her by national reporters. She simply was not their kind of feminist — and they disdained the politically incorrect life choices she had made.

In helping to convince Sarah Palin that her road forward in national politics would demand even more sacrifices and pain than exacted from most politicians, the media did nothing to encourage women or people of modest means to participate in politics. By sidestepping her critics, Sarah Palin is now moving to another playing field where she has more control over the rules of the game. Her friends say her critics may call her a “quitter” now, but they should wait and see what new role she decides to fill. She may wind up having the last laugh.

– John Fund / Wall Street Journal

Scott Ott explains why Obama’s estimates of minority religious populations in America are actually majority populations.

(2009-06-03) — After announcing that the United States is “one of the largest Muslim countries in the world“, with an Islamic population soon to overtake number 50 (Mauritania), President Barack Obama today boasted that the U.S. is also the second largest Jewish nation on earth, “and moving up fast”.

“Only Israel has more Jews than us,” said President Obama. “and we’re catching up. Like our productive American Muslims, our Jews are working hard to make us number one in the world.”

The president said his administration would soon unveil a “religious stimulus proposal” designed to make the U.S. the largest Hindu nation on earth, as well as to overcome “the shocking Buddhist deficit and the shameful dearth of Taoists.”

The president’s plan will promote increased immigration of under-represented religious devotees from nations that have a surplus.

Funding for marketing and transportation will come from a modest tax on the weekly offerings of Christian churches, “since followers of Jesus are relatively plentiful and wealthy.”

— [Hat Tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace]

Obama in one bold stroke has come up with one cleaver loophole into which to thread both the Gitmo detainee dilemma he faces with his upcoming Supreme Court judge nomination bid. He should come out smelling like a rose… Genius as reported by Scott Ott / Scrappleface…

In an effort to shut down the U.S. Naval Detention Center at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, thereby restoring America’s moral standing in the world, President Barack Obama today declared some 240 enemy combatants held at Gitmo to be ‘human fetuses’.

In an executive order, the president said, “Since I ordered Gitmo shut down, and people don’t want us to bring the inmates here, the only way to extract them from the facility is to change their legal status to one that offers us more choices.”

While accused terrorists have access to attorneys, and nearly-limitless legal appeals, a fetus has no legal standing, cannot speak for itself, and is subject to the death penalty without regard to guilt or innocence.

Civil rights advocates have pressured Obama to follow through on campaign promises to shutter Gitmo, but even Democrats in Congress have resisted bringing the inmates to U.S. soil for trials and incarceration.

“We can debate whether enemy combatants have access to protections under the U.S. Constitution,” said Obama. “However, no serious person would grant such protection to an embryo or fetus. The loss of 240 fetuses wouldn’t raise an eyebrow in a nation where more than 3,000 of them hit the Dumpster daily.”

The president noted that America’s global reputation has been devastated by U.S. treatment of terror suspects, but that “our treatment of a million fetuses each year earns us nothing but admiration, and requests for clinic-funding from those who aspire to be like us.”

Sources acknowledged continuing White House debate about whether a terrorist who escapes from Gitmo alive can still be treated as a fetus.

Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the family-friendly news satire site, and anchor of ScrappleFace Network News (SNN), seen on YouTube.

One of the best pieces of satire from Scott we have seen this year!  Just keep in mind, with Nancy Pelosi in a “spin cycle”, this story might seem more like fact than fiction, Especially when compared to the recent rantings eminating from the dizzy Speaker’s mouth as she tries to find a cleaver loophole of her own to filter through her CIA debacle.

Rockbridge Monitoring – FREE website / server monitoring service.

It’s been awhile since we ran our weekly Top Cartoon Satire of the Week. Here are a few choice picks from the top stories of the last few weeks…

If you have a few you would like to post yourself, feel free to register and request to be considered as a contributing author here at ZZ News and Satire.

It’s also been know to make flowers sprout out of your hat band… - ed

— [Hat Tip: meggit33]

Obama chill’n after hoops

(WASHINGTON) — With the debate over AIG executive bonuses nearly bringing official Washington to a standstill in the past three weeks, the Obama administration today expanded its plan to control Wall Street executive pay, adding provisions to limit compensation for star performers in the National Football League (NFL), National Basketball Association (NBA) and Major League Baseball (MLB).

“Some of these sports stars, like AIG execs, have negotiated sweetheart deals paying them millions of dollars, and yet they lose games,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. “The president shares the outrage of the American people at these obscene salaries and bonuses. There’s nothing that makes the little people feel littler than the thought of these fat cats getting fatter just because that have specialized skills that are in high demand in a free-market economy.”

Indeed, the White House released a recent poll showing that 75 percent of Americans answered ‘Yes’ to the following question: “Do you believe President Obama should personally limit the compensation of anyone who earns a lot more than you do?”

“How hard can it be to show up on Sunday and toss a few passes?” said Mr. Gibbs. “The fact that some people earn a lot more money than others just demonstrates the savage inequalities inherent in a capitalist system, and explains why the president has taken deliberate action to end it.”

Under the terms of the pay-limit plan, the president would appoint a panel of university economists, union leaders, and “ordinary American community organizers” to establish paycheck parity between average hourly-wage workers and the people “who have carved out for themselves an unequal portion of the pie.”

“In America you can dream as big as you want, but everyone agrees we need strict controls on those whose dreams have come true,” Mr. Gibbs said. “The people deserve a system in which there are no limits to your potential, only to your achievements.”

The proposal would exempt most Hollywood stars and popular recording artists, he said, “since much of their money is already returned to the people in the form of contributions to the Democrat party and its candidates.” — [Hat Tip: Scott Ott / ScrappleFace]