Open Letter To Liberals, Leftists and Social Progressives



OPEN LETTER TO LIBERALS LEFTISTS AND SOCIAL PROGRESSIVES
(Submitted for publication by one of our readers (S.G.) so we decided to publish it here at ZZ N&S since we thought you would all enjoy it… Note to John J. Wall …. Keep the faith dude – don’t let recent events get to you !!)

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot, and will not ever agree on what is right, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile, chalk it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our own way…

Here is a model separation agreement:
Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them) …

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You
can have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s, and rednecks. We’ll keep the bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security…

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any practicing doctors. We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics, and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot.
Since it often so offends you we’ll also keep our history, our name, and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots, and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you ANWAR which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,
John J. Wall.
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand.

— [Hat Tip: StuGil]




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16 Comments so far

  1. Beyond brilliant – even better on 2nd and 3rd readings – I would work for this political vision at break-even levels for the rest of my life if it held out even a 1% chance of success for my children and grandchildren.

    I am beyond sick and tired of disgusting subversive leftists taking advantage of our traditional liberties to tear down our society – bastards, deserving only of our contempt

  2. Pass the link around and share with your friends… http://zardozz.com/zz/2009/01/open-letter-to-liberals-leftists-and-social-progressives.html

    Be sure to Rate, Buzz and Digg Up…

  3. Dear John J. Wall, an American and future Esq.,

    After 50 years of living, growing two companies to the top of their respected industries and creating prosperity for hundreds, your words are truer that one would think.

    I can tell you that should things continue to the left, conservatives will have no choice. This is when America will experience its second revolution. I wish this weren’t the case but when you have ignorance running rampant in such a large part of our collective sociology, something has to give and it sure isn’t going to be from the progressives’. This progressive constituency really has no clue. Nice thought process and letter Mr. Wall, I would hope the left would take this seriously but in my experience will blow past in reverse to the point of embarrassment. No, I take that back, you can’t embarrass or insult a progressive; they just don’t get it…but will.

    W. A.

  4. Interesting list, but too many items improperly categorized. Sort of like one of those “…which item does not belong?” test questions. We should keep Rosie O’ Donnell, because this outlandish cold(Al, what’s happenin’?) may destroy our food supply.

  5. Great idea. However, you need to be more realistic. Divide where the voters live. Blue states keep virtually all the industry, education institutions, and all the great financial structures. Red states keep cattle fields, trailer parks and the KKK.

    This isn’t California. Each party gets to keep what they created. Red states made their beds. If we part, you get to lay in it.

  6. One problem Scooter, what are you guys going to do for food, resources and energy? That Grocery store doesn’t just magically provide staples such as meat and veggies. Where are you going to get raw materials for your factories? How resources to generate emergy?

    If this “Divorce” would actually happen the blue areas would be nothing more than a collection of City-States and very small areas surrounded by red. Good luck with that!

  7. [...] Hat tip: ZardozZ News & Satire. [...]

  8. Excellent! We still have to get rid of the RINO’s, too. Did you happen to see the kid glove treatment Hillary received? I swear, I don’t think our elected reps remember how to fight to get what is rightfully ours. What is that? Some answers!

    This is a wonderful idea. I’m in. Let me know where to get the papers. lol.

  9. scooter said, “Great idea. However, you need to be more realistic. Divide where the voters live. Blue states keep virtually all the industry, education institutions, and all the great financial structures. Red states keep cattle fields, trailer parks and the KKK.”

    Only one problem with that scenario, when the government takes over running all those industries, they will succeed…in running them into the ground. While the best and brightest business owners in the world will be with us and will succeed in turning ANY situation into wealth for themselves, those they employ and the country. And we’ll STILL have all the farm land and you’ll be begging us for bread, just like the Russians did when communism failed them. But since the greatest amount of philanthropic giving comes from us, you shouldn’t have to beg too much.

  10. Scooter, the Red States did not make our bed. The South was occupied by the North for 100 years after the War Between the States, and all the South’s large businesses were colonized by outside (Northern) owners. Read your history of Reconstruction, in which the South was punished for a century for the deeds of a the mostly English planter elites who participated in the loathsome practice of slavery, while the huge majority population of Celtic Scots and Irish lived almost identically to the blacks. The word “redneck” originally pertained to the red collarpiece worn by Presbyterian pastors, who were Scots-Irish. It was the English Anglicans, then and now, who were pushing a selfish agenda from their self-appointed moral high ground, like their present agenda to legitimize gay behavior in direct contradiction to the very words of the Bible that gave them their platform in society to begin with.

  11. >You can have your beloved homeless,

    Maybe John J. is unaware that according to national statistics around 700,000 veterans are homeless, unemployed or both.
    Take a trip down to your local recruiting office John. Yes, I did serve, Target Intelligence 80-84.

  12. Dear John J. Wall and friends,

    We’ll ponder your request with these considerations:

    Give us back the surplus and prosperity we created in the Clinton years, all the civilians, children, innocents and soldiers wounded, maimed or killed in your insane war in Iraq and all the goodwill we used to have in the world (and NO, you don’t have the RIGHT to INVADE people who THREATEN; you have the right to DEFEND AMERICA and attack the actual persons responsible when attacked, not the wrong targets as your party is so wont to do). You convict yourself by your own words.

    We’ll keep the entertainment industry, all the Universities and places of higher learning, fine arts, museums and public broadcast and you can keep paragons of intellect like Rush and Bill-O, Faux News, the KKK and all religious nut jobs. (What makes you think we like Scientology? Isn’t shielding religious nuts YOUR territory?) We get to keep Science, stem cell research and advanced technology and you can keep the fundamentalist, end of days Christians.

    Many of us love guns and have great respect for the military so you’re out on that one. Besides, since most of you seem challenged when it comes to rational thought and are just plain hostile, we’ll need weapons to protect ourselves from the world’s greatest threat to moving forward toward peace –the Reich Wing Neo-Con Extremists.

    It’s funny that you say you don’t want the homeless or illegal aliens when your policies and corporations created that problem (and your last Pres completely supported illegal Mexicans and gave them a free ticket to our services…don’t you remember?). Ok, we’ll take them and teach you how to deal with them (because you’re just going to create more). Many of us will fight to see that the illegal aliens are sent back where they belong, right after we SHITCAN the never ending Republican idea of the “War on Drugs” which, like the “War on Terror” or the “war on dandruff”, can NEVER be won. Once drugs are legal and Mexico has the chance of being survivable, perhaps Mexicans will be more encouraged to stay there. Talk about job creation and income. Ok, you can keep the DEA and the bill that costs in dollars and blood. We’ll even sell you the pot we grow and market on our side of the continent.

    Yes by all means…Please, PLEASE keep Sarah Palin. We really don’t want our secular foundations soiled with the likes of her religious craziness. You guys really lost your marbles on that one. At least Carl’s advice worked for you a couple times.

    We’ll take the war protesters and anyone who wishes to peaceably challenge our way. It’s called AMERICA and we like the values of Free Speech and Independent Thought, which scares you guys so much. Allies? C’mon now. Do you really think if WE left you, you’d HAVE ANY? LOL! Perhaps Dick Cheney will finish his book “Selling Fear and Winning New Friends” or “My Puppet’s Gone, But I’m Still Pulling Your Strings”. Better that he write, “Even A Republican Can Learn To Admit He Was Wrong and Say I’m Sorry”.

    You can keep your Judeo-Christian values; you know, the ones that supported slavery, women as possessions, genocide of an entire indigenous people and replaced our Founder’s motto, “E Pluribus Unum” to “In God We Trust” in 1864. Read the “Treaty of Tripoli”, unanimously signed with a standing ovation by Congress in 1796 (before they were all corrupt) “Art. 11. As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion…” See, you really do need to educate yourselves. We are NOT a CHRISTIAN nation. We have, in complete disregard for our Founder’s intent, morphed into a near theocracy at your hands however. If you want a theocracy, why not move to Iran?

    Some of us don’t trust or even believe in an improbable, supernatural being that listens to Republicans over anyone else. Like all the Founding Fathers, who purposefully left any cultish, favorite deity OUT of every single one of our founding documents, we want to stand on our own two feet while taking a stand for “Out of Many, One”. You can believe in a “Creator”, which is exactly how those smart Founders left it, OR NOT. Personally, I’m fed up with the oceans of blood being shed over centuries caused by a belief in Yahweh, invented by the Jews in 6000BC and his fabled son. In essence, Allah is the same Abrahamic god created by the Jews that Muslims worship and use as justification to kill non-believers. Christians, while believing in the same god add Junior and oppose him with Muhammad and it is ALL insane. To us nonbelievers, it feels like a living episode of the Twilight Zone. I agree with Thomas Jefferson that an impenetrable wall of separation needs to be maintained between Government and Religion but still think it’s only fair that you keep all the closet homosexual politicians (who are mostly if not all in your camp) and the child raping priests that boff in the name of your Imaginary Friend. Jefferson said it best with, “And the day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus, by the supreme being as his father in the womb of a virgin will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerve in the brain of Jupiter. But may we hope that the dawn of reason and freedom of thought in these United States will do away with this artificial scaffolding, and restore to us the primitive and genuine doctrines of this most venerated reformer of human errors”.
    -Thomas Jefferson, Letter to John Adams, April 11, 1823
    There is a reason members of the absolute brightest humans, minus 7%, in the National Academy of Sciences, maintain non belief in your deity. Keep him if you must but please stop praying to him in justification of your penchant for bloodshed.
    Yes for a party that calls itself “conservative” I guess your wanting to keep all the major gas guzzling, polluting inefficient vehicles goes right along with your policies on deficit spending, printing money out of thin air with nothing to back it up and climate change. By all means, keep them.
    You won’t have adequate healthcare in the near future because we’ll, as previously stated, have all the Universities and Science. You can pray when you get sick, so soon your healthcare will be free.
    We’ll keep the Pledge of Allegiance since YOU’RE filing for the divorce, (minus the “under God” additive, and you can keep all the war songs. Yes “Imagine” would be a great song for us to keep. Thanks very much.
    On your famous Trickle Down Economics…PLEASE keep it. We’ve seen the results and it’s plain to us that it should have been called, “Tinkle Down Economics”, the corporate Republican motto of “Piss on You, I’ve got Mine!!!” You can keep the flag, but once again you’ve failed to anticipate consequences…you won’t be able to use it anymore. I know it’s very hard for you so think about that one. Are you saying “Huh” yet? Well you’ve forgotten the history of why there are 50 stars and 13 stripes on that flag, so you can’t keep either. I suggest you take a new name so as not to further disgrace our Founders. You’re new motto could be “E Unum Unum” …look it up. We still like the original that you discarded. “In God We Trust” wouldn’t really make sense for you since Jesus was clearly a liberal, you think he’s god, and you hate liberals.
    If you get lots of therapy, we could still work this out, but it would likely terrify you to look honestly and deeply enough at yourselves. At this point, we know no other way for you to gain better clarity at the fairness and justice we want for you and everyone. We’re sorry you no longer believe in Liberty and Justice for All but respect your Freedom not to.
    Did you mean to bet us ANWR (the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) and not ANWAR? We’ll assume so, but sadly, if only left to your care, it won’t exist anymore. Shouldn’t bet things you don’t have.
    S. T. – Musician and American Citizen
    P.S. As if Barbara or Jane would want your company?

  13. Someone please take Mr. Rhee to the bathroom like our good old fathers used to when we were bad in church, and give him a good spanking. That’s what all of DC needs, a good spanking. Obviously thier parents never disciplined them.

  14. That’s right acwilliams, when someone doesn’t agree with you and intellect fails, just employ the right-wing Republican fail-safe of violent enforcement. I’m sorry your “good old father” was not capable of nurturing without abusing you. Unfortunately, now you also carry the burden of ridding yourself of violence, but so far you have failed.

  15. Don’t talk about my family. You have no idea where I came from. Scripture says ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.’ And whether you want to believe it or not, discipline is not abuse. You have to teach children boundaries, or they will not be able to function as proper human beings. If it were left up to them they would sit in front of video games all day, not go to school, and eat junk food constantly. Is that a healthy way to raise your child?? I have children, and I have been a parent for a while now, so I think I know children pretty well. It has nothing to do with ‘right wing’ or republicanism. It has to do with morals, values, and ethics which the ‘Leftist Socialist’ movement doesn’t seem to ‘get’. They want to grant children thier own rights that can overrule thier parents! Whddyathink of that?!
    Back to the subject…
    Mr. Rhee if you can name us ONE country that has flourished and progressed positively while embracing a socialist agenda we’ll ALL shut up. Even Russia has warned our dear Mr. President about going down that road. And if Russia is warning you about that, you should probably listen. It may seem to you like giving everybody an allowance that is equal to everyone else in the entire country, and all driving the same car, living where the govt says you’re going to live, working where the govt says you’re going to work, and going on vacation where they tell you you’re going to go (if there are any vacations anymore…) is a good idea, but I don’t want to be told what I’m going to do. I don’t want my life run for me by the govt. That negates our free will and freedom as a country, robs our Constitution, and turns us into a bunch of robots being run by a ‘leader’ instead of a president that was chosen to perform the will of the people. The problem with politics anymore is they work for thier OWN agenda, and no longer work to fulfill the will of the people as this country was founded on. And just because we didn’t get the president voted in that we voted for doesn’t mean our rights are now NULL AND VOID. Which is why at some point I believe it’s a possibility that this letter written above has merit. Some parts are surely made in jest, but the point is well received. How long can you live under a government you don’t agree with on ANY level?? I personally didn’t appreciate Obama or McCain. I think the country would get to the point it’s at and on it’s way to either way, with McCain, just slower. The man I wanted as president didn’t make it through the primaries. I’m sure there are others who feel the same. There is no longer Republicans and Democrats. There is a veritable RAINBOW of variance. Personally, I will continue to pray that God’s will be done, and no one elses. So, since your nominee was admitted as president, I have no other idea except that it was God’s will for him to be there. And if you know anything about prophesy or scripture you’d know why he’s there. This world ain’t gonna get any better anytime soon.

    My point of the spanking remark is that it seems to me that liberals have become such spoiled brats used to getting thier way, they don’t seem to be used to any form of discipline. It’s like they think they should be able to do whatever they want. With no consequences. You’re not going to understand so I’ll end that conversation right there.

  16. Mr Rhee you can thank our last real republican president, (Reagan if you didn’t know) For the surplus that bill clinton rode because guess what when you allow free markets to work they do, ( who would of that if you give company’s incentives to expanded that they actually will), you can also thank clinton and the dems for taxing “evil big cooperations” so much that the sent our jobs overseas. oh and You can thank Mr Clinton for re instating the minority housing act that was started by the peanut farmer , and is largely responsible for our current sub prime crisis.

    history will proves us right don’t worry

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