Contagious New Virus Identified by CDC

Submitted by one of our readers…

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest state store or distributor and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

— [Hat Tip: megitt33] Thanks Meg. We will all be sure to avoid work like the plague!

Obama Shuns Flag Lapel for Fear of Bill Ayers

(INDIANA) — Sen. Barack Obama admitted today that he stopped wearing an American flag lapel pin out of fear that friend and domestic terror group founder William Ayers would “step on my chest.”

The revelation comes after a photo of Mr. Ayers standing on the flag resurfaced from a 2001 article in Chicago Magazine.

“This guy ran the Weather Underground which declared war on the U.S.,” said Sen. Obama, “Bill Ayers conducted a campaign of bombings and riots before he helped me launch my first political campaign. With a resume like that, I’m not about to taunt him by wearing a flag on my lapel. I’d hate to have to explain the footprint to my dry cleaner.” – as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace

At 55, Bill Ayers, the notorious sixties radical, still carries a whiff of that rock ‘n’ roll decade: the oversize wire-rim glasses that, in a certain light, reveal themselves as bifocals; a backpack over his shoulder—not some streamlined, chic job, but a funky backpack-of-the-people, complete with a photo button of abolitionist John Brown pinned to one strap.

Yet he is also a man of the moment. For example: There is his cell phone, laid casually on the tabletop of this neighborhood Taylor Street coffee shop, and his passion for double skim lattes. In conversation, he has an immediate, engaging presence; he may not have known you long but, his manner suggests, he’s already fascinated. Then there is his quick laugh and his tendency to punctuate his comments by a tap on your arm.

Overall, it is not easy to imagine him as part of the Weatherman, a group that during the late sixties and early seventies openly called for revolution in America, led a violent rampaging protest in Chicago, and took credit for numerous bombings around the United States. - Chicago Magazine

Yankee - Red Sox Rivalry Turns Homicidal

Talk about the need for anger management therapy in the Big Apple and Bean Town! New York Yankee and Boston Red Sox fans… we have one thing to say. Get a grip !!

A New York Yankees fan has been charged with second-degree murder after allegedly ramming her car into a group of people outside a New Hampshire bar, killing a Boston Red Sox fan.
Ivonne Hernandez
This booking photo released by the Nashua, N.H., Police Dept., shows Ivonne Hernandez on Friday after her arrest. Witnesses say a Red Sox-Yankees argument in a bar Friday led to taunting in a parking lot and then, according to prosecutors, to murder.

Ivonne Hernandez, 43, was arraigned this morning in Hillsborough District Court on reckless second-degree murder and drunken driving charges. She did not enter a plea and will be held without bail.

The murder charge followed the weekend death of 29-year-old Matthew Beaudoin, who was one of two people struck early Friday morning by Hernandez in a Nashua, N.H., parking lot after an altercation that reportedly involved fans of the rival big league teams.

Hernandez, of Nashua, had initially been charged with two counts of felony reckless conduct, but one of the charges was increased after Beaudoin’s death.

“One of the pedestrians sustained minor injuries,” according to the Friday release from the state Attorney General’s Office. “The second pedestrian sustained life-threatening injuries. — ABC News

Sure hope the Red Sox fans don’t take this too personal. I can just see the reaction next time the Bronx Bombers set foot in Fenway Park or the Red Sox fans visit Yankee Stadium. If you are a fan of one of these teams you might want to make sure you go to the next game with a kevlar vest under you favorite player’s jersey.

Obama Looses the Psychological Underdog Factor to Clinton

Do you get a a sense that if the Iowa Caucus was run again on Tuesday along with North Carolina and Indiana that the result might be quite a bit different? Americans do have a passion for drama and support for the underdog. How much of that passion was at play in the early primaries? Back at the beginning of the primaries, there was no doubt that Barack Obama was the clear underdog and Hillary Clinton was supposed to be the hands down sure thing. If you are honest with yourself there was also an unspoken tension regarding race as a potential differentiator. Thus the MSM did virtually no investigation of Barack’s personal associations for fear of being branded as playing a race card if they were the first to break a negative or controversial story or fact.

Ironically — it was Barack’s own pastor of 20 years that has now opened the lid on the race card pandora’s box. Not the Republicans, not Hillary Clinton or John McCain, but his long time association with a radical black minister who by the way does not represent the value system of mainsteam black Americans. Obama even acknowledges openly that the issue of his judgement for being so closely associated with this pastor IS in fact a fair issue in the campaign.

Sorry Barack, but throwing Rev. Wright under the bus now is a bit late. No matter what transpires within the Democratic National Committee’s smoke filled rooms, no matter what else Howard Dean has to say on Fox News, you have damaged yourself by your own poor judgment and nativity about the impact your past associations will have on your political aspirations. Are we to believe that after 20 years of association with this racist minister, that you have just now received the great awakening and revelation that his value system is not in alignment with your own? If this is really true and you are being honest with us this just reinforces the concern that many Democrats are having that your lack of judgment and experience is a serious Achilles heel in a national election.

Obama’s “Great Race Speech” although lofty and elequent did nothing to answer the fundemantal question as to WHY he remained a member of a congregation that so clearly and joyously reveled in the views of this radical pastor. Barack, the Prophet of Change, has now elected to do what every other belt way politician does, throw him under that same bus seen still dragging his white grandmother from his so called historic race speech.

As a result of all of the doubts that have been raised in the minds of many voters concerning Obama’s true value system and potential integrity issues, Hillary now finds herself with the beloved and sometimes blessed underdog status and with a tailwind. The good voters of North Carolina and Indiana, have the rare chance to shape history by keeping both the drama of the race AND the intellectual debate between Obama and Clinton alive.

American Thinker: Obama’s Trap
Barack Obama set the trap. Then he stepped in it. Or, as Reverend Wright might put it, Barack’s chickens are coming home to roost.

Thus is the effect of the Great Race Speech.

Six weeks ago, Obama’s status as the Messiah was dramatically enhanced for having turned the negative of Reverend Wright into a “much needed” exploration of race in America. So eager was the liberal establishment for confirmation that race is the biggest problem in this country (and that Barack is the solution) that they didn’t see the obvious; they were being deceived by a cynical sleight of hand.

As virtually every intelligent (and honest) pundit noted, along with millions of average Americans, the Wright controversy wasn’t about race. It was about patriotism. Any person seeing those clips said to themselves, “I would never have been part of this man’s church. I’d have gotten up and left.”

It is Barack Obama’s comfort in remaining in an environment that regular folk would have abandoned in an instant that leads to the most intriguing part of the Wright debacle. That choice is the most powerful insight we’ve been given into what kind of man Barack is, and what sort of decision-maker he would be if we decide to give him his first management position…

Top Five Rev. Wright Rant Cartoons of the Week

Help us select the Best Rev. Wright Rant Cartoon of the week!

Here is your chance to vote for the Top 3 Rev. Wright Rant Cartoons of the Week.  Feel free to pick three from five that we have pre-selected from the blogosphere for your critical eye to evaluate…

Vote for your top three below… You might bookmark or subscribe to our RSS feed and check back every so often over the week to see which winners are emerging.

I suspect we may need to add to this list for another round next week. If you are registered and find some additional Rev. Wright cartoons you would like us to consider in the next few days, feel free to send us the pics or urls for us to consider for a follow up round of voting. You can register to contact us or email us at zardozz(at)gmail(dot)com you can also submit a URL in a comment on this site (not on Digg please). Digg discussion is always welcome of course but on the Digg site. Leave info for us here. Tnx — ZZ

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Obama Throws Rev. Wright Under the Bus

Maybe it was hearing his middle name repeated over and over again on national TV that was the straw that broke this candidate’s back. Maybe it was the latest poll showing Hillary having a much better chance of winning against John McCain in November. Whatever it was, today Obama finally threw his pastor of 20 years under the bus. What’s even more incredible is he would have us all believe that he had no idea that Rev. Wright was so hateful, bigoted and racist until this past weekend. Pretty hard pill for all those bitter poor white backwoods, gun toting bible thumpers in rural America to swallow don’t you think?

(WINSTON-SALEM, North Carolina - Reuters) - Democratic Sen. Barack Obama strongly denounced his former pastor on Tuesday, saying he was outraged by assertions made by Rev. Jeremiah Wright about the U.S. government and race that have disrupted Obama’s presidential campaign.

The controversy over Wright has been a major stumbling block for the Illinois senator, who is leading New York Sen. Hillary Clinton in the state-by-state contest for the party’s nomination for the November election.

Obama was forced to address the issue after an appearance by Wright on Monday at the National Press Club in Washington, where he repeated earlier suggestions that the United States deserved some blame for the September 11 attacks and that the government had had a hand in spreading AIDS to blacks.

“I am outraged by the comments that were made and saddened over the spectacle that we saw,” Obama told reporters as he campaigned for the North Carolina vote against Clinton next Tuesday.

“The person that I saw yesterday was not the person that I met 20 years ago. His comments were not only divisive and destructive but I believe that they end up giving comfort to those who prey on hate,” Obama said.

Wright’s comments have undercut the campaign of Obama, the son of a white mother and a black father who has based his campaign on a promise to unite the country after years of sharp political and racial divisions.

Howard Dean’s head must be about to explode! Just as it looked like he might have had a shot of shutting down the campaign forcing the hand of Super-Delegates and disenfranchising the remaining primary states, the good Reverend gives Hillary Clinton more life! The time for Obama to have distanced himself from the Rev. Wright radical black ideology was 20 years ago not 48 hours ago. It goes to right to the issue of his judgment as well as his political immaturity.

Regardless of what Obama says now, it will be very hard for him to disassociate himself from someone with such a radical and anti-American point of view as Rev. Wright who reinforced that ideology on National TV for all to see. In fact, Rev. Wright ironically is showing more integrity and consistency in his beliefs by at least NOT changing his perspectives on America, or backpedaling on ANY of the comments made in his sermons of the past 20 years. It’s Obama that is looking like the typical beltway flip flop politician by attempting to spin his way out of this association!! What was that about CHANGE Barack???

How to Recognize a Palestinian Cat

— [Hat Tip: megitt33]
We changed the title of this post thanks to the insight of one of our readers… [see comments]

The Carter Files: Yet Another Incriminating Photo Op

When researching the history of Jimmy Carter’s foreign policy blunders (such as laying a wreath at Arafat’s tomb), my legion of researchers stumbled across this gem of domestic PR genius from 1976. Jimmy Carter felt the need to connect with American pop culture, so he hosted an official press release where he shook hands with Gabe Kaplan, better known as “Mr. Carter” from Welcome Back, Kotter. A PR statement at the time read, “This provided an opportunity to reach the stand-up comedian and last-name homonym voter. More importantly, it solidified Carter’s image with youth, proving that ‘Jimmy really digs it’.” The PR statement also noted that Carter dispensed advice on regular bathing habits to keep youth from becoming Sweathogs.

ZardozZ News and Satire: Open for New Writers and Reporters

Interested in writing or reporting for ZardozZ News and Satire?

We are currently looking for some additional authors and reporters. If you are interested simply register here on our site and send a note to the editor at: zzb(at)zardozz(dot)com . We will try and get back to you within 24-48 hrs or sooner if possible. Please be sure to include a url to your website or blog so we can get a peek at your work. We will set you up as a contributing author and as such you will be able to submit posts for review prior to being published here at ZardozZ News and Satire.

Check over our site first to be sure your work aligns with our readership and politics… We are a bit right of center as you can tell but we are not too “bitter” as one Presidential candidate might put it.

Your work should focus on current events, news, political satire, cartoons, humor and any other societal aberration. We think most politicians are snakes and have multiple layers of hidden agendas but you can call it like you see it. Oh… and by the way: We love America, for all its faults at times. If you don’t — don’t bother making your request.

100+ Subscribers on Feedburner… and growing.

This is also a very good way to give your site and your work some free additional exposure!

Looking forward to having a few more authors join us… — ZZ and Staff

Hamas Endoresment Inspires Superdelegates

In the battle for superdelegates, Obama has one clear edge. He now has the unwavering support of Hamas. Following in the tradition of Carter diplomacy is there any doubt this new endoresment will help lock his chances with the remaining super liberal superdelegates?  Scott Ott reports on the one party peace talks…

(WASHINGTON) — The chief political adviser to the Prime Minister of Hamas on Sunday said the terror group would like to see Sen. Barack Obama become the next U.S. president because “he has a vision to change America.”

One Obama campaign insider said, “Getting this endorsement is tantamount to picking up a superdelegate vote. But with Hamas, Sen. Obama didn’t have to compromise his principles or positions, or make any commitments beyond what he has already promised.”

The unnamed source said he expected the Hamas announcement “would open the floodgates” and the Illinois senator will soon have the support of what he called “the Carter coalition of global non-governmental organizations that support change in the U.S.” — as reported by satirist Scott Ott / ScrappleFace